The Last Post (For Now, At Least)

farewellpicIf you’ve been keeping up with my blog you know that today is my last post for awhile so I can focus on directing my first feature film.  Today also marks the day one year ago from today that I wrote my first blog post.  I’ve changed a lot since then so it’s nice to have recorded all the things that have occurred and some of the thoughts that I’ve had over the past year.  The biggest change is about to come and it excites me to no end:  in addition to being an actress/writer/producer, I’ll also be adding “director” to the hyphenate.  Let’s hope I don’t screw it up.

Since the Japanese tsunami hit, I was overwhelmed by grief and concern for the Japanese people, but also it made me think about life in general.  It inspired a completely new script idea, one wholly different and separate from the one I had been working on for months.  I’m now focused on telling this new story as my directorial debut, and I’ve given myself just two weeks to finish the script.  I don’t want to say too much about it now, but I can tell you that it’s an exciting idea with so many possibilities and I think it will touch many more people than my previous script.  I still want to make the other script as a feature film, and hopefully this movie will help make that film become a reality as my second feature film as a director.

So thank you everyone for tuning in this past year.  It has been one of definite growth and change, and I hope for you as well.  Wish me luck in my directing venture, and I’ll be sure to try to blog here and there when something inspires me to write.  For now, I’ll be focusing on making the best movie I can make, and I hope one day you’ll have the opportunity to see the finished product.  If you haven’t already, please sign up for our mailing list, and I’ll be sure to keep you in touch with blogs and movie updates.

Thanks again for tuning in and take care!

15

03 2011

I wrote a blog today but it just seems irrelevant.  I’m consumed by the continuing footage and news of what’s happening in Japan, and so I remain speechless.  I know I have only one day left for my daily blog, but for now, I just can’t think of anything that’s important enough to say.

14

03 2011

Japanese Earthquake

No pictures are needed here– they’re everywhere.  My heart goes out to the people of Japan who are dealing with this devastating earthquake.

11

03 2011

One of Those Nights

Last night was a hard night.  You know when that happens you try to fight it off but sometimes it’s best to just recognize it, work through it, and then move on.

It started off with a good day- I had a great workout at the gym, I did what I thought was a good full re-write of my latest script, and then I went to work.  But at work I realized…the ending of my script was just not good enough.  Not good enough for me, not good enough probably to get into a decent film festival, and not good enough to get sold.  I needed to re-think the script, and even as daunting as I knew it would be, I was determined to work it out.

The problem was, I was in a shitty mood.  I was about to start my period, (which is always a pretty tense time in my household), and my father’s birthday is today.  My relationship with my father has always been a drag (we won’t go into the gory details here), and although I wasn’t thinking about him, I think subconsciously knowing that today is his birthday was bringing me down, mixed with the PMS and my crappy feelings about my script ending.

So after work, I was driving home and I drove by one of my favorite old Mexican quick stops- Benito’s.  I kept driving, but in my head I kept thinking about how much I loved to eat their bean and cheese burritos with sour cream—how warm and soft their tortillas and beans were and how gooey and delicious the cheese and sour cream together tasted.  After passing Benito’s for about four blocks, I made a U-turn and headed back.  The diligent vegan inside me was being silenced:  I could not listen to her tonight or else I might explode.  Guilt-free and hungry, I went into Benito’s and ordered my favorite burrito.  The order-taker (and cook) was kind enough to get it started before I even paid just in case I decided to change my mind and run.  Even the half-homeless looking guy smiled at me, as if to say that the universe approved.  This was one of those nights that I had to let go, even for a second, and let myself off the hook.

I got into my car and was about to eat the burrito right then and there when I looked over to my left and saw some guy leaned back in the driver’s seat of his car, listening to music.  So not to be distracted by my soon-to-be orgasmic cheat, I started the car and drove a few blocks down into a residential area and pulled over in a red section.  I left the car running but turned off the lights (I knew it wouldn’t take long for me to devour my burrito), and then I quickly unwrapped the burrito from it’s tin foil wrap as if I were undressing a Calvin Klein model and then took my first bite of the forbidden food.  It had been at least nine months since I had a bean and cheese burrito- (and nine months since I tasted real cheese or sour cream), something I used to eat at least once a week, if not more.  I was in heaven from the first bite.  The burrito was warm and tender just as I had remembered, and that made-with-lard tortilla reminded me of all those boozed-up nights that would end in a Del Taco run.  It’s funny how certain foods just stir up warmth for people, hence the term, “comfort food.”  For me, it’s a burrito.  A simple, bean and cheese burrito with sour cream.  And preferably one from Benito’s.

The night didn’t stop there.  I went home, cried a bit out of self-pity, (not for eating the burrito, but for the collective things I was feeling), and then kissed my man goodbye and walked to a local bar for a drink.  This time I was going to cheat again- not with wine or beer which I had done before here and there, but with vodka- something I swore I would stay away from.  (Vodka just makes me want more—more vodka, and gasp!, cigarettes).  I ended up having two short martinis that quickly gave me a buzz but didn’t make me drunk.  I sat there alone, watching other people and then finally tuning them out to focus on my script.  I came up with several ideas that turned into dead ends, and finally after hearing the bartender talk about her failed acting career, I decided to call it a night.

When I got home, my loyal man was waiting for me patiently, knowing that some nights, I just need to do those kinds of things.  He knows the dark side I have, and he’s also acutely aware of staying away from me a bit when it’s that time of the month.  (He keeps forgetting to download that phone app that will remind him when my period is coming.)  He also knows my relationship with my father and he knows that even though I’m a strong, independent woman, things like his birthday can set me off into a mild depression.

Still not satisfied with my night, I went into the bedroom and continued to think.  I don’t know how it came about or how it happened, but somehow I started to figure out the ending of my script.  When it happened I was relieved because I knew it would be o.k.  I wouldn’t figure out the perfect conclusion in its entirety that second, but I was close- closer than I had ever been.  It made my night turn around almost instantly, and I was back to being chipper, hyper, excitable Grace.  Thank god.  I hate going to bed in a funk.

I leaped into the arms of my man and started goofing around.  Poor guy.  He sometimes has to deal with the mood swings of a premenstrual woman, one who also happens to act like a crackhead sometimes.  I couldn’t stop chatting away to him when an hour ago I could barely speak, and because he loves me and is patient, he went along for the ride.  By one-thirty in the morning, we were still up and decided to watch “Due Date,” which I liked for some parts, but then eventually fell asleep.  This morning I woke up with a renewed feeling that I could figure out my script, and I took for granted how easy it is to have someone there who understands your schizophrenic behavior.  But that’s not entirely true—I never take him for granted.  I looked at him in all his gorgeous sleepy-eyed wonder, jumped back into bed with him, even for two minutes, and kissed the soft part of his nose.  He’s the reason I can go into the dark places at night and be o.k., because I know when I come out, he’s the light that will guide me back to home.

Now let’s just hope I can stay away from Benito’s.

10

03 2011

30 Day Feature Film Project

While cruising around on a new Facebook friend’s page, I found this in his “likes” section.  I was thoroughly impressed with the amount of dedication, hard work, and commitment all these filmmakers had to make a feature film (and also document it) within 30 days.  It’s a testament to what can be done when you absolutely put your mind to something and I found it totally inspiring.  I’m not sure how the movie turned out or if they will be able to sell it, but completing a feature film is certainly a big accomplishment nevertheless.  They seem like a great group of people and I wish them all the best of luck.

09

03 2011

Geraldine Page in “Interiors”

I’ve been watching movies like mad as of late to help educate myself on how to (or how not to) direct my first film.  It’s been great to finally watch some of the classic films that I’ve always wanted to see and then find not only inspiration, but also discover actors and actresses whom I’ve heard so much about but never seen act.  One of them is Geraldine Page, who was nominated eight times for a Best Actress Oscar and finally won her first and only one the year before she died for “A Trip To Bountiful.”  After watching Woody Allen’s first dramatic film, “Interiors,” I can’t help but want to see all of her films just for her performances.

08

03 2011

Impermanence

Since I only have a week left for my daily blog, I decided that I write as much as I can about the things that really matter to me, and one thing that I hold dear to my heart is my attempts to live a peaceful, mindful, and enlightened life similar to the path of Buddha.  I studied Buddhism at the Hsi Lai Temple in Hacienda Heights for about six months, and although there is still so much to learn, I do feel that I learned the basic principles of Buddhism.  One of the essential Buddhist beliefs is that of impermanence, or in simplified terms, the idea that nothing is fixed, everything is in a state of flux; nothing lasts forever.

I thought of this because a very dear friend and neighbor of mine just moved away.  We became very close and we got used to having her around, as well as her little dog, Lucky, whom we dog-sat while she was away at work.  My s.o. asked me the night she moved out if I felt sad.  I had to think about it for a moment, because certainly I felt sad about her leaving, but I wasn’t dwelling on the loss.  Of course, she wasn’t moving far away, and although we wouldn’t see her everyday, we would still be friends.  But inevitably, our life would be different—there would be no more late night impromptu hanging out, or early morning walks to the park with the dogs.  I certainly felt sad, but the one thing that I remembered was that nothing lasts forever, which made me feel better.

Now some people may think that that is so sad, that the concept of nothing lasting forever (i.e., love, life, friendship) is such a depressing thought.  Some people even have said to me that Buddhism doesn’t appeal to them because of the belief that life is suffering.  However, what many people don’t know is that Buddhists believe that the key to life is the END OF SUFFERING through letting go of our attachments.  (Which doesn’t mean you can’t have things to be a good Buddhist, you should just try not to get attached to them).  Knowing this truth can help alleviate suffering.  For example, even though life may be impermanent, so is death.  The idea of a hell where pain and suffering never ends for those who led “evil” lives or didn’t believe in God just doesn’t make sense to me.  There is a great relief in knowing that the pain of death won’t last.  Or the pain of loss won’t either.  Nothing can last forever, and that’s not a bad thing.  Change is good and change is a part of life.  If we stop growing and changing, like all things in nature, we die.

So today as you’re going through life and perhaps getting stuck on one idea or another that may be bringing you down (i.e. bad job, bad financial situation, or bad relationship), know this:  everything is impermanent, and that truth in itself can set you free.

Also known as, “This too, shall pass.”

07

03 2011

Pedro Pascal Hits It Big With Wonder Woman

pedroandme

Last night I celebrated some great news with my dear friend Pedro Pascal, whom I’ve known since I was sixteen.  He just booked a series regular role on the new t.v. series re-boot of Wonder Woman and we went to see our friend, Sunah Bilsted’s amazing stand-up set at Room 5 above Amalfi’s in Hollywood.  It was a great night to see old friends and we all shared in his celebration.

It’s funny how in this business people like to think that someone has had overnight success.  I think the truth is, for many people “overnight” equates to years and years of training, studying, working, and overall busting your ass.  Pedro went to the NYU Tisch program when I went to UCLA, and from there he stayed mostly in New York doing off-Broadway plays and regional theater across the nation getting paid pennies on the dollar of what he deserved.  (Every actor knows that unless you’re a huge star, there’s no money in theater).  Nevertheless, he remained truthful to his passion and even when Hollywood beckoned (as did I) for him to move to L.A. and work in t.v. and film where you could actually pay your bills, he decided to stick with his gut and do theater and NY television.  Finally he found his way back here this year for pilot season and beat out thousands upon thousands of hopefuls for a job on a t.v. show after having a landmark year of guest spots on t.v. and small parts in films (catch him in The Adjustment Bureau with Matt Damon out today).

I’m absolutely thrilled to have him back in L.A.  I totally understand his undying love for New York, but I also know that L.A. is the place for him to be working.  He can always keep his New York pad, but for now he’ll have to er, tough it up and live in sunny L.A.  When someone so close to you has such major success it feels like your success too.  I’m so thrilled for him and I know that this is only one landmark in what will be a most fantastic career.

(By the way, you can also catch Pedro in “I Am That Girl“- buy it today!)

04

03 2011

My Favorite Vegan Spots in L.A. (Part 1)

shojinsushi

Since you can’t always cook (and don’t always want to!), here’s a list of my favorite vegan friendly spots that I frequent around L.A.  Please feel free to add more if you have any suggestions.  I’m always eager to try new places!

Favorite Vegan Pizza- Pizza Fusion in West Hollywood
Pizza Fusion is great because not only do they make a vegan pizza, but they also have Daiya cheese which is a non-soy, non-tree nut vegan cheese that melts like cheese.  I get the Farmer’s Market pizza, vegan style on their multigrain crust.  It has artichokes, red onions, mushrooms, and I add some of their seasonings and red pepper to add flavor.  They also make a tasty barbeque chick-un pizza.

Favorite Wrap- The Veggie Grill in West Hollywood
Right up the street from Pizza Fusion on Sunset you’ll find The Veggie Grill in the Sunset 5 plaza.  I love everything they have here- their soups are hearty and delicious, they make the best vegan mac and cheese I’ve tasted, and their vegan carrot cake is spectacular.  But the thing I order most often is their Bayou Chick-un Wrap, which is a blackened grilled chick-un wrap with veggies and their house-made dressing.  I order a side of steamed kale with it and I’m good to go.

Favorite Green Curry with Brown Rice- Truly Vegan in Hollywood
You can get the green curry dish with tofu or soy shrimp or vegan chicken (I usually get it with tofu), and it’s served with brown rice.  Be careful, though—sometimes the green curry is hotter than you expect!  Truly Vegan also makes some of the best vegan chicken strips I’ve tasted and I’ve heard great things about their blueberry pancakes.

Favorite Chocolate Pudding- M Café de Chaya on Melrose
Just west of La Brea on Melrose, you’ll find M Café de Chaya, one of the few macrobiotic places in town.  I especially love their desserts (some of their deli-type fare is a little too overdressed for my tastes), and once you take a bite of their vegan chocolate pudding you’ll wonder why you ever need to ingest milk products again.

Favorite Quick Grab and Go Meals- Whole Foods
All you have to do is hit up the salad bar at Whole Foods and you’ll find a ton of options that are vegan friendly.  Sometimes after work I’ll stop by and grab a small container of mixed salad items and grains like quinoa, edamame salad, vegan potato salad, etc.  Unfortunately, I usually find a whole bunch of other stuff that I love in the other aisles and I end up spending way more money than I intended.  Oh well…at least it’s healthy!

Favorite Vegan Sushi- Shojin Restaurant
I know that sounds crazy, but yes…there’s a vegan sushi restaurant in downtown L.A.!  (See pic above).  Located in a mall near Little Tokyo, Shojin offers great items like apricot and kale salad, shitake avocado rolls, and vegan rainbow rolls.  If I’m ever in downtown for a meeting or an audition, you can bet that I’m probably stopping for lunch at Shojin.

Favorite Vegan Salad- Tender Greens
The Happy Vegan salad at Tender Greens is so good even my non-vegan friends love it.  Filled with greens, grains, hummus, and fingerling potatoes, this is one of those salads that really leaves you satisfied.

I definitely have some more favorite spots, but that’s all I’ll leave you with for now.  If you get a chance, try one of these dishes at these spots.  I don’t think you’ll be disappointed!

03

03 2011

Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work

After working all day on my next project, I settled down with a couple of movies at the end of the night- one being the documentary on Joan River’s life and career.  I had heard so many great reviews about this doc so I was eager to see it.  If you get a chance to rent it, I highly recommend it– it’s especially good for actors who think that one day they’ll make it and it will be easy coasting from there.  As with everything in life, being successful and staying on top of your game is constant work, and for some of us– that’s the secret joy and relief about it.  Joan Rivers is truly a piece of work, and to this day she always makes me laugh, even if her jokes are raunchy, un-PC, and sometimes off the wall.  She’s an inspiration to all of us who attempt a life in show business, and I hope she sticks around to make us laugh for many years to come.

02

03 2011